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Yes, it's true. I can't believe it either but we have finally, after more than 10 years in Boulder, CO decided to move back home to Sweden. As you can imagine, it's not an easy decision to make, especially with two children who have friends and a great life in general here.
The most common question I get when I tell people that we are moving is if we are "running away from Trump". The answer to that question is simply no. There is no place in the world to hide from the impact that the President of the United States has on the world. He/She might actually have a greater impact on our lives there than here in the US. So that's not it.
The reasons are many. Hundreds. But they all somehow boil down to that it's just time. Time to see family more often. Time to give our kids their own Swedish roots before they get too old. Time to use our vacation for something else than visiting Sweden. Time to pick blueberries, complain about the weather, see some northern lights, eat potato chips and watch Eurovision Song Contest live. Time to test if Sweden is still "home".
You see, I have struggled for many years with this inner resistance to calling Boulder, Colorado or America "home". I just can't accept that it would turn out that we ended up staying and living our entire lives here just because time passed. Because it was hard to make a decision and hard work to move. If I make America my home I want that to be because I decide it is. And I just can't make that decision without first deciding what I really feel about Sweden. If it's still home. Or if it and I have changed too much for that to be true. So we're doing that now. And it's definitely not easy. It's emotional, painful and a lot of work. But I'm so relieved that we have made a decision, because that's the hardest part.
The house I thought I would easily part with. It's just a house. And when we bought it, it was definitely not a "love at first sight" kind of story. The carpet had stains from the previous owners dogs and just felt like I would never get it clean. The master bath had tile that was falling off the walls and I refused to use it for anything until we had remodeled it. The reason we bought was the location which was great for us, the big fenced in yard that would be great for the kids, the wood burning fireplace and then the amazing mountain views.
8 years later, the list of reasons we feel so much pain from leaving this house is much longer. Some are things we have done, like the solid wood floors that run throughout every room, the new kitchen and the master bathroom and walk in closet. The new entry door with sidelights and the big deck that faces the mountains and the sunset. Other things are those that we just have no control over. The amazing neighbors that go far beyond just being neighbors. They are the kind that you call on in the middle of the night to stay at your house to watch your sleeping kids when you have to go to the emergency room. The kind that not only lends you their tools but comes to help you out. The kind that invites you and the kids over for dinner on a weeknight when they know your husband is travelling and you're spread too thin.
It's going to be a tough day when the moving van pulls up, but we have to believe that there are many good things waiting ahead and allow ourselves the excitement of a new adventure.
Here's to all the good memories this home has given us!